Aliens Abducted My Teenagers

I'd like to start by saying that no one told me it was going to be this difficult.  I have spent so many years thinking this parenting thing was easy street. My kids weren't picky eaters, there was no emotional drama ripping through the house on a daily basis, and they weren't dependent on designer clothes or boys.

I think aliens kidnapped my family and replaced them with lookalikes.

These days I am forced to admit that a few of my kids have really strange food issues and I spend way more afternoons/evenings than I care to admit locked in conversations with teary-eyed teens that weepy-talk in super high pitched voices.  Every one of those conversations begins with some new horrible thing I've done to them this time.

I would never dare roll my eyes in front of the emotional time bombs otherwise known as my daughters, but privately my eyes are getting quite the workout!

The other day I explained to Hubby that these drama sessions are a lot like discussing philosophy with a duck. It just doesn't get us anywhere! I've realized that nothing I say will quell the emotional riptide they are caught up in and there's no way in Hades that my darling girls will ever consider that they might be wrong about something. Heaven help me!

I try to be empathetic, assuring them that I know exactly what they are going through.... After all, I've been there, done that! And you know what? I'd like to spare them some of the angst they are signing up for. It never, ever works though. Although I kindly keep my eye-rolling private, my girls have no such compunction and they roll away.. right in front of me! It's enough to make me wish for a Pez dispenser filled with Valium.

And so the dance goes.

Don't get me wrong, not all of the girls are going through the emotional drama wars. And if it happened to be more than one of them at any given time, I'm sure I would have moved out by now. But even though they are rotating the drama schedule so that they get time off, I never have that luxury. I'd love to pause the convo in the beginning and tell them, "Sorry, tonight is not my night to be the drama coach." but unfortunately it doesn't work that way when Hubby is on swing shift. Nope, I'm all alone with the teary aliens.

The other irritating thing about all of this is that they seem to reset so quickly! They empty themselves of the drama like a fast moving bout of food poisoning and then they move on. I'm not so lucky. I brood. I wonder what I could do differently. I agonize over how to do a better job of turning them into successful, wonderful people. And when my feelings are hurt, I pout for at least a day. At least!

These days I sport a lot of battle wounds and the truth is that the drama is over such minor things that none of it should ever get so inflated. I'm a tired mama that needs a vacation someplace warm, somewhere quiet with an occasional steel drum band off in the distance.

Is that too much to ask?

I adore my girls and I happen to think they are already pretty darn successful. They get amazing grades, scholarship offers and they give me hugs and kisses every day. They're awesome kids! If we could just keep the alien invasion at bay, there would never be an ounce of drama in our house.  ;)