The Men In My Family

I had the privilege of spending a lot of time with my Dad today while he was in the hospital for what was supposed to be an outpatient heart procedure. (It turned into a mini-overnight vacation, complete with room service but we are so grateful he is doing well.) Mom was there with him all morning, of course, but she also had a family funeral to attend today so I volunteered to stay with Dad in the afternoon while she was away.

I would have been at the hospital sooner but today was Bill's first day at work after his shoulder surgery and he still needs my help with a few things. (It was so adorable to see him give me a boyish grin after he put his jacket on..  All. By. Himself!  We're definitely making progress!) I took a deep breath as I watched My Guy drive off this afternoon.  I miss him so much now that his vacation time is over. I know he was uncomfortable for much of his time off, but I selfishly loved being able to spend so much time with the love of my life. 

These are my two guys who each had surgery within a 7 day span.

It was good to have something to occupy my time this afternoon so that I wouldn't spend too much time pouting over missing my hubby and I loved the hours of conversation with Dad. We talked about anything and everything... WWII, memories, old injuries, Bill's shoulder, auto repairs, and family.  Dad joked around a lot, pranking me several times when his bp cuff would start to inflate and he would yell, "help me, help me!" in a panicked voice until I rushed over to help.. and then he would laugh over how clever he was to trick me like that. I fell for it.. every time! He is a naughty monkey and I am completely gullible! I loved his laughter and his smiles that went on for hours and hours. I am grateful for his skilled doctors who took such great care of him today so that he will have many more years ahead to be a happy prankster with his family.

When I came home late in the evening, I was instantly welcomed by cheerful greetings and smothered by my girlies' hugs.  Ahh, home! There's no place like it! I know I brag about it all the time, but seriously.. I don't think you understand how lucky I am to be surrounded by these loving girls. (Try not to be too jealous!) They are the light of my life, without a doubt!

Now that I'm all snug in my bed, I keep replaying the conversations Dad and I had today about different people and their families. There are so many people struggling right now with very hard family situations... some with very little family at all, and some that are mourning the recent loss of family members. How could I not think of those less fortunate tonight as I was surrounded by my loving daughters and anxiously waiting for my sweet hubby to get home from work? I wish that everyone could feel the love, comfort and peace that I get to experience with my tribe. I wonder how different the world would be if everyone felt nothing but peace and security within their own families.  I bet the world would take a deep, calming breath and the Earth would sigh with contentment.

It's a nice thought, isn't it?

Reflection

Ahh to be home again! We had a very long day at Logan International airport, just trying to get home. Wild weather throughout the south and mid-west caused hundreds of flight delays and even cancellations. I am used to spending endless hours stuck in airports, but I know that was a difficult day for Mom.  We were at the airport from sun up to sun down!

When we finally did land in SLC, I was greeted by the love of my life and I instantly felt protected and safe. Oh how I missed him! He hugged me so tightly on the curb of the drop off zone and I didn't even mind that his Delta jacket was covered in drywall dust. I was THAT happy to see him! My hubby told me that missing me was "painful" to him, and to his credit, he has been extremely affectionate and attentive since my return. I could get used to this! We talked about how we enjoyed our trips but how we don't feel 100% like ourselves when we are apart. There were so many discoveries we each wanted to share with one another but couldn't. And don't even get me started on the long nights without having his warmth next to me. He is my comfort, my support and my love. I am so happy to be back where I belong. 

Hubby saved our aching backs by hoisting the uber heavy, souvenir-laden suitcases into the Durango and we were headed home! We chatted all the way about our adventures in New England and his adventures in California. It still cracks me up that we were on opposite sides of the country. It was a great experience, but I never want to be that far away from him again!

We drove Mom home and got her things into the house. After saying a quick hello to Missy (my favorite sis) and Dad, we were headed toward our own tribe at last. I walked in the door and was instantly greeted by comfortable familiarity. Madi was working on her Sterling Scholar application, Linzie came bounding up the stairs with sleepy eyes and a huge welcoming smile, Emily drifted down the stairs looking beautiful with her hair wrapped up in a towel turban, and before long even Carley and Abby were pulled from their toasty beds to say hello. I felt bad because it was past 11:30PM on a school night, but I selfishly lapped up the hugs, kisses and "Welcome Home, Mom" greetings that were lavished upon me. My tribe... my heart.  My sweet girls and my loving husband will always be my touchstones. A house is just a structure but my family is my home.

Because of my recent visit to Louisa May Alcott's house in Massachusetts, I have had some fun conversations with my family about Little Women. I have said for years that my girls are my Little Women. I feel so lucky that I get to be part of this great group of girls! Each of my girls possess traits of the Little Women characters. Madi is like Jo, Linz is like Meg and Beth, Emily is like Jo and Amy, Carley is like Amy and Meg, and Abby is somewhere between Jo and Beth - Louisa May Alcott would have had a great time inventing a character like my Abby! My girls are constantly making me laugh, teaching me about life and love, and making me think. I always felt that it quit being about me when I had my children.. I thought it would be all about them for as long as they were mine to love... but now I see that there's a subtle lesson flowing through them, to me.. the gift of learning all those things make life polished.  My girls have taught me patience and understanding, how to let go of the petty things that hold people back, they have shown me the difference between wants vs. needs, and above all else, they have taught me that love only grows when you give it away freely.  I would give anything for my girls!

My trip to New England was Ahhh-mazing! I felt so connected to the history and my ancestry there that it was almost like being home. Almost. I think if I could take my darling hubby and my sweet girls with me then I could easily live in New England forever. Aunt Dottie is also a big reason I wish I lived in Massachusetts. She is so full of love and life that just being around her is uplifting. I love her laugh and her genuine spirit. I never did get to play Scrabble with her, but I could have listened to her stories forever and never grow tired of hearing her memories. She taught me so much about life in general...when I grow up, I want to be just like her!

 I'd love nothing more than to daydream about my New England adventures, but I'm back in the real world and there's a grindstone here with my name on it.  However, come 4PM I will be racing back to the family that I adore.. I'm sure I haven't given them enough hugs and kisses yet!

I am thankful for...

Thanksgiving is this week, and while I don't need a holiday to make me appreciate all of the blessings in my life, I am grateful that there is a holiday to celebrate all of the wonderful people in my life all at once.

So here it goes.



I Am Thankful For:

My super cute husband who kisses me tenderly each morning before he goes to work. I'm usually still sleeping but he does it anyway and I love him for that!


Being a mom to 6 wonderful, smart, talented and kind girls.

Memories of my Grandma. I miss her so much.

Twilight movies that give my mom a reason to smile and something to look forward to.

Having an older brother who is mysterious and amazing. Definitely the smartest dude I've ever known!

Having a family that believes in loving nicknames. Chacho, Chacha, KarKar, Mac, Binza, JJ, Shla, Emmers, M-bear, among others.

My children's smiles and laughter. Laughter lit up the house last night and I went to bed with a warm and happy heart.

The fact that there are no "steps" in our house. We may be a blended family, but he is their dad and she is my girl. We are not a "step family" We. Are. Family!

My little brother and how hard he has worked to be where he is at today. I am so proud of him for working through his obstacles. He is such a cute dad and my girls' favorite uncle.

Little hands that find their way into mine when we are watching movies. They're never too old to hold their mom's hand.

Hugs and kisses goodnight, and loving goodbyes in the morning as my girls head off to school.

Fantastic friends that keep in touch even after I change jobs.

New job opportunities that teach me that not all bosses are jerks.

A thoughtful husband that sweeps and mops on his day off so that I freak out a little less over the dogs in the house.

The holidays that make my children's eyes glow with excitement.. not because of gifts, but because they love sharing surprises and spending time together.

Singing Christmas songs with my girls, in the car, as the snow falls.

Seeing my husband's huge smile as he escorts his little girl to our waiting vehicle at the airport. We are so happy that she is back with us for the holiday!

Plans to decorate the "whimsical" tree before Thanksgiving so that the whole family can participate.

Finding out that there will be at least one more trip to the mountains to cut Christmas trees at the Robinson tree farm. We don't need a tree, but we need that time to create life-long memories of family and togetherness. It hurts my heart to think about how different it will be this year.. I know what we will all be thinking, but I also know that if she is able, Grandma will look down on us and smile.

"See ya, Babe." "Bye Punkin, I love you. " "I love you too."

Yuffas and all that they imply.

Blogs that give us an outlet to share our thoughts, dreams and moments. An electronic snapshot of our lives.

To my family: Thank you for giving me purpose and direction. Everything I do is for you and because of you. You are my heart and my soul.. I can only hope that I am able to give you a fraction of the love, strength and happiness that you have given me.

My Little Punkins

Fall… sweet, blissful, beautiful fall! Sometimes I think that one of the reasons I love fall so much is because you never know what weather you are going to wake up to. Other times, I can’t help but relate to the colorful leaves that seem to scream, “HEY! I’M OVER HERE! OPEN YOUR EYES AND APPRECIATE ME BEFORE I’M GONE!” Yesterday as I drove home in the 35+ mph winds, I was positively giddy over the fact that it was literally raining leaves on my Durango and I smiled as I watched a group of young children squeal with delight as they chased an eddy of leaves through the parking lot while I held up the traffic behind me so they could delight in their fall escapade safely.

*Sigh* Can it GET any better?


Last Friday we excitedly piled into the Durango to head to our favorite local farm for… PUMPKINS! As I watched my teenage girls frolic amongst the brightly colored gourds of happiness, I felt a wrenching pain in my heart. I was instantly transported through each one of the many years of pumpkin celebrations with my little girls and I wondered where the time has gone… I have pictures of my babies holding tiny pumpkins, but because they were tiny themselves, those little pumpkins looked huge! I have pictures of Emily perched happily on top of a pumpkin that had been hollowed out – too bad I couldn’t get a picture of that toddler butt from the INSIDE of the pumpkin… I bet that would have been hilarious! I can hear their sweet giggles as they grossed themselves out with the guts of the pumpkins, see them cringing as they dared each other to put pumpkin slices in their mouths, and I can see them proudly beaming over their freshly hacked creations. Oh girls, thank you… THANK YOU for the memories! I am such a lucky mother to have wonderful girls with whom I can share this great adventure we call life.










So there we were, last Friday evening, at the farm.. The sun was lower in the gloriously blue sky, the weather was perfect and my girls were having a ball! The girls would laugh and squeal over each new and even more perfect pumpkin than the last which they had just put into the little red Radio Flyer wagon.. so I simply could not refuse when they wanted “just one more.” I stood back and snapped picture after picture of the smiles, the laughter and the silliness that ensued and I could have been there all night. I was that happy! Bill joined us about 40 minutes after we had arrived at the farm… and we had already loaded our prized selections into the Durango.. So naturally we had to go back! We wanted our favorite guy to take part in the pumpkin happiness too.. And another 30 minutes and 17 pumpkins later, we headed home – reassuring each other that YES, WE ARE CRAZY!









Right about now you’re probably thinking to yourself, “Geez Nicole! 17 pumpkins… REALLY?”

Yes. Really. And let me tell you why…

When my girls were little and would have bad dreams, they would come into my room at night, tears streaked on their little cheeks, and they would crawl into bed with me. We’d sleep snuggled up for the remainder of the night. I remember a few years ago when I realized that they no longer do that.. I felt like I had been smacked in the face and I thought, “Hey wait a minute! When exactly was the last nightmare incident that had one of my Snuggle Bugs end up in my bed?” And as long as I am asking ridiculous, rhetorical questions, WHY didn’t someone tell me it would be the last time so I could fully appreciate it, and get the full benefit of The Very Last Nightmare Snuggle?

The very same scenario played out for the neighborhood summer nemesis, The Ice Cream Man. When they were little, my girls would take off at an Olympic sprint whenever they heard that creepy tinny music from blocks away. I could hear their little feet thundering through the house as they came at me all breathless and tense and asked me hopefully, “CANWEHAVEMONEYFORICECREAMPRETTYPLEASEHUH?” Take a breath girls! Here’s your quarters now go get sticky! One summer I actually gave them each their own roll of quarters and told them to use it wisely.. make it last.. I actually thought I was teaching them something cool about being responsible. Too bad Abby had already learned how to be generous because she went out and gave all of her quarters away to friends. LOL It is nice that you shared, Abby… but please don’t do that with your future paychecks! Now when the Ice Cream Man circles our neighborhood like a hungry vulture, the girls don’t even blink an eye as the music filters through the house like some horror scene about to play out.. And once again, I ask myself what I would have done.. what I would have thought… if someone had told me, “Hey Nicole, see those adorable little girls out there with ice cream running down their faces? Well, this is the very last time they are going to want to chase the ice cream truck. How do you feel about that?” The truth is that I probably would have cried because I do that a lot as I watch my babies turn into blossoming adults.

So that is why we bought 17 pumpkins! Because next year, or the year after that, or the year after that.. when I wake up one day and realize that we no longer rush off to the pumpkin patch with our grins and cameras ready, I want to be able to say, “Yeah, I remember that and it was OH. SO. COOL!”





By the way - Today is my Sweet Grandma Robinson's birthday. Grandma, I still miss you every day.. still fight the tears that are my constant since you've been gone.. and I will always...ALWAYS love you. Happy Birthday, Beautiful Lady!