Life Lesson Number One

I have been mulling this idea around in my head for a while now, and I think it is time to bring it to the blog-o-verse. Anyone who knows me, really knows me, will tell you that I have a set of rules that I live by.  Not the ordinary clean your room and wash behind your ears kind of rules.. (Don't get me wrong, those are good practices in general, just not quite what I am going for here.) No, the rules I want to write about are more in the category of  life lessons that, I believe, will mold and shape a person's character for the better.  I've been on this sparkly blue planet for a while now and I think I can say with a measure of experience that I do know what I am talking about.  I hope to be able to spend some time discussing each of these Life Lessons in detail, for as long as it interests me to do so, and hopefully something useful will come of my musings.  If nothing else, my girlies will have even more evidence that their mom is a nutjob! (Albeit a nutjob with really good Life Lessons to share!)

If you don't agree with any of the Life Lessons I post here, that's fine.  You are welcome to start your own blog and write about everything that you believe in. These Life Lessons are mine, and although you are welcome to adopt them and use them in your own daily life, especially if you happen to be a member of my family, you will never take them away from me. So don't even try it.

Life Lesson Number One

Be kind in everything you do.  Seems simple, right? I am often shocked at how the world we live in is seriously lacking in kindness. When did we stop believing that the way we treat other people matters? 

I grew up in a house where we went to church on Sunday and I was taught "The Golden Rule" as a child. As a rule, it's okay, but it smacks of religion and, let's face it, it's a bit antiquated. (Is it wrong to call the Bible antiquated?) 

Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. Seriously? When I go to the hairdresser, I want her to do unto my hair. But if I follow The Golden Rule, does that mean before I get a cut and style I have to do unto the stylist's hair first? Believe me, I don't think she'd appreciate it, and then who would do unto MY hair? I'd have to go around butchering half of the town's carefully coiffed hair just to find someone who would surrender and do unto my hair like I wanted in the first place! I'm exhausted just thinking about it! The same goes for the mailman, the butcher, the baker, and even the candlestick maker. You get the idea. If we are going to insist on continuing to use The Golden Rule, it would have to first be rewritten for modern times.

Here are some ideas for rewriting The Golden Rule:

• Do unto others as they would like to you do for them because, frankly, if they wanted to do it or were capable of it themselves, they wouldn't have asked you in the first place. Others will do unto you in a manner that you will find pleasing and appropriate to the amount you paid for their services in money or trade.
• Do unto all others, regardless of race, sex or religion,  in a politically correct manner, exactly what they have asked of you in a legally binding contract so that you will not find yourself in litigation later.
• Do unto others as they have earned through their own deeds and actions. In my world, respect is a two way street, fellas. If you earn it, you'll get it! 

See? All that doing unto others is complicated and just plain exhausting.  I gave it up years ago for the simplified version.  Be kind. 

My kids have heard it a million times. Be kind!  All I have to do is look them in the eye and say, "What is my number one rule?"  Even the hubby knows what I am talking about. I have learned over the years that we cannot ever control the actions of others, so wishing for them to treat us the same way is complete nonsense. Standing around sulking about how you were nice to someone but they weren't nice to you in return won't solve anything either. Get over it.  That's all you can do.  Going to bed with a clean conscience, knowing that you were kind and did all you could do, is all anyone can hope for at the end of the day. The rest is out of our control.

I'm not saying that you should try to be best buddies with someone who uses your heart for target practice, and I'm not suggesting that you give up all of your worldly possessions and go live on a mountaintop in Tibet either. Kindness doesn't have to be wrapped up in a Mother Teresa gift box with a Gandhi bow on top, it just has to be something that comes from the heart. It's that simple. 

I one hundred percent believe that so many altercations could be avoided, so many hurts healed, if people would take the time to practice kindness in their words and actions. If you see someone having a bad day, give them a smile or a hug... you'd be surprised how powerful that can be. When someone is upset and wants to vent, take the time to listen and let them know you understand their feelings.. you don't have to agree with them, but everyone is entitled to their feelings and sometimes all they want is someone to listen. Do kind things for other people. Help someone with their chores or their homework, bring them a treat for no reason whatsoever. Take the time to say kind things to others. Don't ever assume people know how you feel - and even if they do know how you feel, it is really nice to actually hear it from time to time.

I always tell my girls that being kind is something they will never regret in their lives.  Did you know kindness is contagious? Try it and see what happens!