Life Lesson Number Four

"People tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will descend like fine weather if you're fortunate. But happiness is the result of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly."
- Elizabeth Gilbert

Happiness

We are each responsible for our own happiness, whether we want to admit it or not. It is so easy to blame others for feeling miserable, but the trick to this journey we call LIFE is to be in charge of our own reactions and to be darn sure that our happiness does not get lost along the way.

On the inside of my left ankle there is a hidden tattoo. (Sorry, Mom!) I am not one of those people who is addicted to ink... (it hurt like hell and I'd never do it again!) But this tattoo reminds me to keep my foundation strong by making sure I have three basic things at all times. These Kanji characters are stacked and I designed it myself, with no knowledge of how this language actually works. I sincerely hope I didn't change the meaning to something offensive or stupid in the process! 

(If you are a Kanji expert and you know that by stacking these characters my tattoo now means "Dimpled butts are sexy!", please do not tell me. Sometimes being oblivious is best.)

This means Love

This means Strength

This means Happiness

There was a day, years ago, when I was feeling lower than I had ever felt in my life. I was going through something very difficult and I had some huge decisions to make. I remember thinking that I wished someone would just tell me what to do so that everything would be better. I wanted to feel better, but I wasn't ready to take charge of my own happiness. Without sounding like a complete nutcase (I hope), I will tell you that these three words just came to me.. in that order. Love, Strength, Happiness.  I knew that if I worked hard to restore these things then everything would sort itself out.

The more I thought about it, I felt that none of these three things could exist without the other two.  In the words of my favorite writer,  Mr. King, they were Ka-tet.  (One from many) It was my job to restore the balance and bring them back into my life. It wasn't easy, but it was so worth it!



I took responsibility for my own happiness and did so by being strong and relying on the love of my husband and my daughters. I won't tell you that everyone was happy with my decision.. and years later some still struggle with it, but it was the right thing for me and I completely stand by my choices. I actively sought out happiness and made the necessary course corrections... and I have never regretted it.

Happiness doesn't mean go out and get a tattoo. (Unless you're into that and if so then more power to  you!) Happiness is the result of hard work and deep breathing when times are tough. Know what it is that helps you find your happy place when things are difficult and strive to attain it. Seek out the healthy choices that lead to happiness and well-being. Understand that you aren't responsible for the happiness of others. Hopefully our actions are the kind that will generate happiness for people around us, but be prepared to stand behind your choices when others may not agree with you.

Last, but not least, if you find yourself parenting teens..  remind yourself that they will appreciate your advice, even if the happiness isn't visible on their faces immediately. Sometimes it takes 25 years or more for them to fully comprehend what we are trying to teach them. By then, they could have teens of their own and they will finally understand.

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