Waiting For Spring

When I can't sleep at night because my heart is hurting or my mind is busy worrying, the only comfort I have is my five girls. These girls are everything to me - the five anchors that keep me going and remind me (on those occasions when I think I can't possibly keep going) that there is unconditional love to be found..  I have that from my girls and I am so grateful for each and every one of them!

Another joy in my life is gardening. Two years ago I followed some bad advice and put some harsh compost in my garden and it's never been the same since. (Insert huge sad face here) Although the results are somewhat discouraging these days, I still love to plant things in the earth and do my best to get them to grow. Last Friday was Earth Day. Did you know that?  I celebrated the planet by prepping and planting some spring crops in my veggie garden and by cleaning out my beloved sitting garden. Don't think I did this without any help though! Hubby and the girls were there to help me with all of it and it was a very satisfying day!

I can't wait until it is warm enough to start putting in some lovely annual plants to make this garden burst with color!

Saturday was busy busy! We had made plans to go to Mom's to color Easter eggs with Missy and Ella, but it was also Prom day for Emily and I just could not make our schedules work so that we could color eggs without leaving anyone out. You know me by now... I don't know how many years of egg coloring I have left with my teenage girls so it is very important to me that I don't miss the time I have left. I made the difficult decision to stay home with my girls and color eggs when Emily was available between her "day activity" and leaving for her Prom date. I think there have been times in the past when the girls had more fun coloring eggs than they did this year, but I was happy to be a part of it nonetheless! (I think the girls were really missing Ashley this year!)

It wasn't long before it was time for Emily to get gussied up for her big date. She looked stunning! I am so proud of this girl of mine.. she's growing up so quickly and if I blink then I will miss it! But true to Emily form, she came up with a great idea to have her picture taken in her Prom dress.... jumping on the trampoline! I love her silly side. :) Even better was when she got the other three in her group to join her in some high-jumping hi-jinx! Have you ever seen Prom pictures like these? So fun!

 

I am so happy that I have these girls to remind me of all the important things in life. I love them all to pieces! I even got them Easter treats again this year in spite of the comment, "Mom, you make us feel like we are five years old!"  I know they love it that the "Easter Bunny" still thinks of them and I loved watching them divvy up the treats in the ginormous basket that they have all shared since they were little. *sigh*  I'm just not ready for my little ones to grow up!

  

We Are Noisey People

Last night I got a text from Madi while she was working. She sometimes will send me a quick hello while she is on break, but this time was quite different.

Madi: "So I have a work assignment."

Knowing she was at work, I sort of expected that would be normal... yanno, assignments at work? I assumed there had to be something unusual about this assignment, otherwise why text me about it?

Me: "?"
Madi: "I have to come up with a crazy noise."
Me: "Foooooorrrr?"

I responded that way because I was truly mind boggled. Madi is a cook at a cafe in a fun center. Why would a cook need to make a crazy noise? In fact, wouldn't that be sort of startling to the customers if they heard strange noises coming from the kitchen as they wait for their orders?? As it turns out, the other workers want to see if Madi has a silly side. Keep in mind this is my girl who is almost always serious. Madi has no time for the movies we watch that are based on slap-stick, dumb humor and she would rather be off writing in her journal than engaging in the outrageous silliness that sometimes consumes our home. Being told to make a crazy noise really stressed Madi out and I immediately tried to be helpful with her "assignment." In fact, Hubby and the other three girls that were home at the time also tried to be helpful by suggesting noises for Madi to try.

Me: "Try that ka-ka-KA noise that Em used for Lizard hunting."

It was at that point I realized that spelling out noises was kind of difficult to do. There's just no way to convey the correct tone and pronunciation through a text message.

Madi: "Ha. That may just freak them out."
Me: "How about the whip noise ..  Which-HA!"
Madi: "That could maybe work."

At that point in the conversation, the noise level in my house had definitely ratcheted up! We were demonstrating different noises that we knew and that we could possibly share with Madi. Yes, we are weird... we have been for a very long time.  ;)

Me: "Car could teach you her dolphin noise?"
Madi: "Maybe"

Carley's dolphin noise is really cool. She puffs her cheeks with air and then uses a finger to tap on the outside, quickly deflating the air and making genuine dolphin noises. When I tried to mimic her, I just sounded like I was making very.. very rude noises! I never even came close to sounding like a dolphin!

Me: "Lol no. It's really hard. I just tried!"
Madi: "I could do my elephant sound....but that makes me look like a freak.."
Me: "I think they want a lil freaky, Mac."
Madi: "I know! That is just so NOT me."

She's right. It isn't her.  While she was stressing over making a crazy noise, she had no idea what had happened back home. If someone had walked into our house just then, they might have thought we had recently escaped from the loony bin! There were noises of every kind imaginable and no signs of stopping any time soon. We were laughing pretty hard too!  Apparently it doesn't take much to get us going. I don't know how Madi tolerates us sometimes!

Each family member that walked into the room was immediately tested. I told them to make a noise and waited to see what would happen. We had placed bets on Emily... I said she would pause and ask what was going on... Carley said Em would just immediately make a goofy noise. Carley won the bet and Em was immediately a member of the noise making squad. She came up with so many different, silly noises!

The noise factory raged on at home, but apparently my serious girl, Madi, didn't get the silly gene. Random noises are alien to her and she is stumped by this work "assignment." We did our best to help her with ideas, laughing the whole time, but I have a hard time imagining her performing any noise with ease. It's not her style. Too bad they didn't ask for an essay about noise... Madi could rock that!

Visions Of Peeps Danced Through Their Heads

I had some errands to run yesterday and because it was Carley's early-out day at school, she went with me. One of the things I needed to do was pick up some Easter treats for my girlies to put in a basket for them this Sunday. It's probably awful that I was doing this right in front of Carley, but she insists she didn't mind. (She is eighteen, after all)

As I walked through the sweets-infested aisles, I would find things I thought the girls might like and I carefully counted out the right number of items and put them in my shopping cart. Money is tight right now and Carley was very conscious of the price of things.. (one of the reasons I probably shouldn't have been doing that shopping with her) she kept telling me that Easter treats were not necessary because they were all old enough to do without those childhood things and I kept reassuring her that it was okay.

I actually didn't spend that much money when it was all said and done, but I could see that my girl was worried about the expense so I offered her my very best explanation for why I do these things and it went something like this:

When my girls were little and would have bad dreams, they would come  crawl into bed with me so I could snuggle their sleepy heads for the rest of the night. Linzie was particularly prone to bad dreams and sleepwalking so she ended up in my bed the most often. One day, not too many years ago, I realized that the night snuggles just stopped all at once and no one had warned me that I would miss comforting my sleepy girls when that happened. I was so used to little girls crawling in bed with us at night that I didn't stop to think about them growing up and handling nightmares on their own, leaving me unaware of any bad dreams disturbing their sleep at all. What would I have done if I had known that I was sharing my pillow with a sleeping little one for the last time? My point is that I didn't know that part of my little girls' childhood had ended and I didn't stop to think about it until years later.. and then I missed it.

I don't want the wonder of Easter baskets to vaporize the same way the night-time snuggles did, without anyone noticing at all, and so I cheerfully buy chocolate bunnies, marshmallow chicks, and other assorted sugary treats for my "grown up" girls to enjoy on Easter Sunday. We will color eggs while singing along with our iPod music and there will be plenty of pictures to share! And I will be happy for at least one more year of childhood traditions with my precious girls. 

Then:

Little Madi and Little Carley showing off their Easter eggs

 Now:

We don't mess around! Egg coloring is SERIOUS business!

  

 

Last night we were watching television and a commercial came on for a new product.. "Crayola Bubbles" <-click to see the commercial  I was amazed! I told the girls that I totally would have bought that for them on Easter when they were little. Linzie's response?  "When we were LITTLE? What? Are we NOT bubble worthy?" Oh. My. Goodness! I laughed so hard over her comment that I decided right then and there that I would do my best to try and track down the colored bubbles for my girls' Easter basket this year! It seems they aren't quite ready to grow up either and I am grateful for that!

I Can Do Hard Things

I'm struggling lately.  When I have a lot on my mind I tend to clam up and brood a bit. Sometimes this has a ripple effect on my family and for that I am very sorry. But I'm working on it.. I'm adjusting expectations and wishes. It's a process.

Last night I told a very sad KarKar, "Sometimes, as parents, we have to do hard things for our family." I know it is hard for her to understand and I wish I could take away her hurt and her worry. I also told her that sometimes we have to do things whether we like it or not.

I'm hoping things will get better. I ache over decisions that have to be made and the cascade effect it will have on my family.  Life is never easy...

Moab- Day 5 The Trip Home

On our last day in Moab, I woke up all snoogly in our tent and wished it didn't have to come to an end. We had such a great time on our desert getaway and it felt like there was still so much more to do and see! There had been some chilly winds and a light sprinkling of rain during the night, but the morning was bright and beautiful and it was time to get rolling.  We had a lot of work to do!

We decided to warm up some fajita leftovers for breakfast, which was different but it meant less work for me feeding our group. After breakfast, I talked Hubby into going for one last ride. Just the two of us. Hubby asked me to head to the end of Fins N Things so I could take his picture coming down the intimidating rock face. He knew I wouldn't actually ride the trail with him (and in fact he had told me that he would never even consider taking his kids on that trail!) so we temporarily parted ways and I went to wait for him at the end of the trail.  It was really fun watching the morning Jeep groups come down that rock! I could never strap little ones into car seats and hope that everything would be hunky dory on those rock trails.. (I am chicken to the core!) they are either brave or crazy.. maybe a little of both! I waited maybe 10 minutes before I heard the distinctive sound of Hubby's four-wheeler - and I held my breath as he inched Rosie down the steep rock. Whew! Safe at last!

I had wanted to check out the other end of that trail because it looked a little easier to me. We headed there next and it might have been a little easier than the part Hubby had just ridden, but it was still challenging to me! It wasn't long before we came to a very steep, very rough part of the trail and Hubs waved for me to hold back. No worries! I had NO intention of following him up a death cliff! Right about then my four-wheeler must have decided to save me from the embarrassment of showing my inner chicken because my fuel light came on. Oh darn! Not enough fuel to continue... must head back to camp. Saved!! Back at camp I tried to act nonchalant as Hubby asked me if I wanted him to fill the tanks and head back out. I told him I was fine either way.. but secretly I knew there was no way I could tackle that advanced trail! Sandy trails with fun "whoop-dees" and high berms are my favorite kind of trails.. definitely not jagged rocks that threaten broken bones and death at every turn! But I know when to say no on a trail so Hubby refueled the four-wheelers and we headed back out.  After hesitating at the entrance (which was really the exit) of the trail I had expressed interest in, Hubby turned and asked me if I would take his picture going up Baby Lion's Back instead.  Uh.. yeah! Absolutely! He didn't have to twist my arm one bit so we headed in a new direction where we got some great action shots of Hubby going up a crazy hill and then he took me around the backside to show me what he had come down. It was insane! I am so glad he managed that stunt safely!

By then there was no escaping it. We had to head back to camp to get everything packed up for the trip home. Imagine my surprise when we got there and discovered the girls' tent was completely stowed! They had emptied it, swept it and then packed it away! Have I mentioned how awesome they are? They even went into our tent and folded all of our blankets neatly. Wow! Just. Wow!  We sprang into action to get the remaining camp chores taken care of, which included packing both of our vehicles and the trailer while Mom and Dad were also packing up their tent trailer. It was a huge job but we have an excellent team and everyone worked hard to help get it done.

 We stopped on Main Street on our way out of town to do some last minute shopping. I had to make sure that everyone had something fun to remember the trip. The girls bought shirts, jewelry and a few of these cute VooDoo dolls that Mom and the girls had discovered the day before. Mom gave Hubby one that is a "Love Chef" and she gave me the "See All" which promised to help me see through all lies, deceptions and secrets. Haha! How perfect is that with a house full of teenagers? Just kidding! My girls would never lie to me...  right?  RIGHT?

One last stop at the infamous McDonalds for shakes and we were on our way! We left Moab in sunny, warm weather after having a wonderful family vacation. We were sad to be leaving it behind, but already the girls were placing dibs on who got the shower first when we got home! Just the thought of hot water sluicing through our hair was beyond heavenly! Mom had just heard from Missy, back home, that we were headed into some nasty weather. Hubby led our caravan as we turned toward the black clouds to the North... toward home.

 The snow started about two and a half hours away from home and it got worse with every mile. By the time we hit Salt Lake City, visibility was two car lengths in front of us and the snow was unbelievable! We didn't know it then, but that particular storm had plans to stick around for three days! It was a miserable drive home because of the weather, but Emily, Madi and Abby were riding in the Jeep with me and we sang at the top of our lungs anyway.  I love turning up the tunes and singing with my girlies!

 I was on the phone with Mom as we reached our freeway exit. They still had a few miles to go, but we reassured each other that we would be back in touch very soon. I was missing them already. I am so grateful that they were able to come with us on our Moab adventure!  I regret not getting Mom and Dad on the 'wheelers for a ride though... huge regret! I would have loved to post those pictures here. I guess we will just have to go again next year!

Our trailer was snow-packed and everything on it was soaking wet! It would take the better part of a week to get it under control again. (In fact, we still haven't finished washing sleeping bags and we got home one week ago) The showers were super hot and we all loved feeling so clean after our camping adventure. We all cleaned up and spent some time hanging out at home the night we returned; happy to be home, but a little sad that our trip was over and our Ashley had to fly back to Atlanta the very next morning. Sad.

I love the adventures our family has enjoyed over the years! The memories we make together are priceless to me and I hope that there are many more adventures to come!