As 2009 comes to a close, I find myself reflecting on the year of highs and lows that my family has experienced over the last 12 months. If I had a dollar for every time we said that this year is a very different kind of year for us, I certainly wouldn't have to worry about any post Christmas debt! But as I hear the giggles of all the little girls throughout the house and watch my cute husband making his special nachos for our family New Year's Eve celebration, I am completely satisfied and happy with my life.
Here is a short recap of our experiences in 2009:
1. We created a family blog to share with friends and family.
2. Bill and I took a quick, overnight trip to Maui to recharge our parental batteries.
3. Carley and Madi were named officers in Key Club and FBLA at LHS and the price of their sweaters was OMG!
4. We had to rebuild and finish the deck and mason work of the pizza oven after a fire the previous fall.
5. We took the girls to Little Sahara Sand Dunes for an Easter camping trip and we were pretty much soaking wet and cold the entire time!
6. Sent the girls to Ohio for their half sister's High School graduation.
7. Two of our girls got their driver's licenses.
8. Our first major scare when Madi was in a car accident.
9. We learned that our beloved Grandma Robinson was seriously ill.
10. The truck's fuel pump conked out on us on a camping trip to Flaming Gorge.
11. My buddy, Jake, came to my house and planted an Apple tree in our backyard..on my birthday.
12. Madi and Emily got jobs at Lagoon.
13. Boating, boating, and more boating!
14. We said goodbye, for the last time, to Grandma Robinson. Her passing forever changed the way we view our lives.
15. Abby and Linzie started 7th grade, Emily started High School, and Carley and Madi began their Junior year at LHS.
16. I mustered up all of my courage to quit my job at Venture to accept a great job opportunity at OHSU.
17. My "babies" officially became teenagers. Now ALL of our girls are teenagers!
18. We gave away a washer, couch, two geckos and a television when we made necessary upgrades around the house.
19. We made A LOT of fudge.
20. I held and comforted my daughters as they cried and mourned the death of their friend involved in a violent car accident. Less than 48 hours later another friend of theirs tragically lost her older brother to suicide.
21. The discovery of Glee meant much more singing around the house and walking around with silly grins as we compare our crushes on Mr. Schuester.
So as our New Year's celebrations wind down and as each of us slowly wander off to our comfy beds, I cannot help but appreciate all that 2009 taught me. Even though there was a tremendous amount of sadness, I learned to appreciate the moments... each and every one of them whether good or bad.
In one of our favorite songs Jason Mraz sings, "It takes some good to make it hurt... It takes some bad for satisfaction." I agree, Mr. Mraz. Life. Is. Wonderful!
Happy New Year, everyone. I am looking forward to appreciating all that 2010 has to offer!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
Holidays
Three days after Christmas and it is time for some retrospection. I hope I don't wear out the word, but once again I am so grateful for my family who are my heart and soul. We had a wonderful, if somewhat quiet, holiday and it is our hope that our friends and family enjoyed their time together as much as we did ours. 
I am happy to say that even though my girls are older now, they have not lost their love and enthusiasm for Christmas. We had fun watching some great old movies to put us in the proper mood for the season. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation and Home Alone provided us some great family fun time that was filled with silly laughter! We watched both movies from the stylish comfort of our new sectional which replaced the old, comfy blue couch. I have actually missed that couch a lot... that is until I saw this picture of it and laughed about how worn it had become. It has been an adjustment, but now I am happy to say that the new couch is definitely an improvement!
Due to illnesses, we were not able to visit my parents' home this year on Christmas Eve and that was hard for us. Spending time at the Thomas house has been a favorite tradition for our family the night before Christmas. We usually exchange gifts (jammies and books, our favorite!) and after hours of quality time we would drive home, past what we have dubbed "Christmas Street", which is a street that is lined with houses on both sides that are unusually decked out for Christmas. We tried a drive-by after Thanksgiving, but very few houses were lit up then. Unfortunately, we missed out on that tradition this year and instead opted for a quiet evening at home, opening Christmas jammies and settling in to watch a family movie.
I could tell that the girls still have their childhood excitement for Christmas because they were giggling and making noise well into the wee hours of the morning. Even though I could hear them, they behaved and kept to the two basement rooms.. another tradition they have of holding "sleep overs" in each other's bedrooms on Christmas Eve.
Christmas morning I received an early phone call. I sleepily reached over and answered the phone on the 2nd ring. I laughed when I heard that the voice on the phone belonged to Abby. We were being summoned. They were awake and wanted us to get up with them so we could enjoy the surprise on their sleepy faces as they opened Christmas presents and saw what Santa left for them.
I never get tired of these adorable Christmas morning photos. Sleepy looks of surprise and excitement are my favorite!
It wasn't an extravagant year at our house, but the gifts were nice and very thoughtful. My girls are so kind and generous, surprising me with gifts that I didn't know they had purchased for me. Even now it chokes me up. These girls of mine are so special!
We had another gift later that day in the form of a visit from my parents. We really missed seeing them and it was fun that they took the time to come over before they went to Grandpa Robinson's house. My mom didn't bring gifts.. she brought treasures. I could not help the tears that fell as I opened a box containing a teacup and saucer that belonged to my Grandma Robinson. I know that I will always treasure that link to Grandma.
One of our favorite moments of the day was one that we refer to as "cheese." I gave each of my girls and my mom a pearl necklace. I told my girls that family is a gift more precious than anything else and that I wanted them to always know how special they are to me. I told them that I wanted to give them something nice that they could pass on to their own children one day and I hoped that they would enjoy having real pearls. I love the unity of sharing something precious with my girls and my mom. Definitely something that I hope we will all treasure.
But the absolute best part of my day was watching the video montage my girls made for me that was set to Josh Groban's "Believe" .. I broke into tears the second the music started, and as I watched slide after slide of my family the tears just kept coming. I am so touched that they would do that for me! If I can figure out how to get it past the You Tube copyright censors then I will post a link of it here. It is absolutely magical and I have never, ever been given a gift more valuable!
The days after Christmas have been filled with laughter, games and time spent together. The girls and I have enjoyed watching the chick flicks that they got as gifts and we have laughed ourselves sick playing games at the table. I can feel the vacation slipping away and I don't like that. I cherish time spent with my family and this holiday has been filled with many moments that will forever be the best of memories!
I am happy to say that even though my girls are older now, they have not lost their love and enthusiasm for Christmas. We had fun watching some great old movies to put us in the proper mood for the season. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation and Home Alone provided us some great family fun time that was filled with silly laughter! We watched both movies from the stylish comfort of our new sectional which replaced the old, comfy blue couch. I have actually missed that couch a lot... that is until I saw this picture of it and laughed about how worn it had become. It has been an adjustment, but now I am happy to say that the new couch is definitely an improvement!
Due to illnesses, we were not able to visit my parents' home this year on Christmas Eve and that was hard for us. Spending time at the Thomas house has been a favorite tradition for our family the night before Christmas. We usually exchange gifts (jammies and books, our favorite!) and after hours of quality time we would drive home, past what we have dubbed "Christmas Street", which is a street that is lined with houses on both sides that are unusually decked out for Christmas. We tried a drive-by after Thanksgiving, but very few houses were lit up then. Unfortunately, we missed out on that tradition this year and instead opted for a quiet evening at home, opening Christmas jammies and settling in to watch a family movie.
I could tell that the girls still have their childhood excitement for Christmas because they were giggling and making noise well into the wee hours of the morning. Even though I could hear them, they behaved and kept to the two basement rooms.. another tradition they have of holding "sleep overs" in each other's bedrooms on Christmas Eve.
Christmas morning I received an early phone call. I sleepily reached over and answered the phone on the 2nd ring. I laughed when I heard that the voice on the phone belonged to Abby. We were being summoned. They were awake and wanted us to get up with them so we could enjoy the surprise on their sleepy faces as they opened Christmas presents and saw what Santa left for them.
I never get tired of these adorable Christmas morning photos. Sleepy looks of surprise and excitement are my favorite!
It wasn't an extravagant year at our house, but the gifts were nice and very thoughtful. My girls are so kind and generous, surprising me with gifts that I didn't know they had purchased for me. Even now it chokes me up. These girls of mine are so special!
We had another gift later that day in the form of a visit from my parents. We really missed seeing them and it was fun that they took the time to come over before they went to Grandpa Robinson's house. My mom didn't bring gifts.. she brought treasures. I could not help the tears that fell as I opened a box containing a teacup and saucer that belonged to my Grandma Robinson. I know that I will always treasure that link to Grandma.
One of our favorite moments of the day was one that we refer to as "cheese." I gave each of my girls and my mom a pearl necklace. I told my girls that family is a gift more precious than anything else and that I wanted them to always know how special they are to me. I told them that I wanted to give them something nice that they could pass on to their own children one day and I hoped that they would enjoy having real pearls. I love the unity of sharing something precious with my girls and my mom. Definitely something that I hope we will all treasure.
But the absolute best part of my day was watching the video montage my girls made for me that was set to Josh Groban's "Believe" .. I broke into tears the second the music started, and as I watched slide after slide of my family the tears just kept coming. I am so touched that they would do that for me! If I can figure out how to get it past the You Tube copyright censors then I will post a link of it here. It is absolutely magical and I have never, ever been given a gift more valuable!
The days after Christmas have been filled with laughter, games and time spent together. The girls and I have enjoyed watching the chick flicks that they got as gifts and we have laughed ourselves sick playing games at the table. I can feel the vacation slipping away and I don't like that. I cherish time spent with my family and this holiday has been filled with many moments that will forever be the best of memories!
Friday, December 18, 2009
Carley and Madison
I've been thinking a lot lately about how much my life has changed and the most important changes began 17 years ago with the birth of my first two daughters. I definitely had no idea what I was in for when the doctor told me I was having twin girls. I was young (21), excited, and oh so naive! I eagerly awaited their arrival and imagined getting to know the two little strangers who would one day become two of my best friends. 
The afternoon they were born was cold and snowy. We had so much snow that winter that we literally had to walk through a snow cave to get out of our apartment and to the car. We were at the hospital around 3pm and had to wait around until 5:50 but then it all happened quickly. Doctors, nurses and parents all getting ready for an early Christmas gift!
At 5lbs 11oz, Madison was born first and she didn't cry much. I heard a little bit of crying but mostly squeeking. At 5lbs 4oz Carley was born only a minute later and she was so quiet. She looked around the room and then rubbed a tiny fist over her eyes and went back to sleep. Already, little boo was bored and figured she'd sleep until things got more exciting.
I remember that Madison looked at me through eyes that seemed old and wise. And I wished she could tell me what she was thinking. I had the feeling that if I could communicate with her, she would have wonders and secrets to share with me. She had this adorable little smirk that let everyone know she knew things that we didn't... She still does that to this day!
Next they bundled Carley up and handed her to me in bed. She had the biggest blue eyes! I held her closely as they wheeled me to the recovery room where EVERYONE was waiting! Grandparents, Aunts, cousins, NINE people waited to meet the babies! In this age of Swine Flu and RSV, that would never in a million years happen now!
It was chaotic in that room and I was shaking from morphine. But the whole world stopped when my mom told me that Carley was blue! Panic struck me harder than I had ever felt it before. I remember pushing the nurse call button over and over but it had not been hooked up. I heard someone yell for the nurse who came running and took Carley away.
In a room full of people, I cried out of fear and a feeling of helplessness. I had been a mom less than an hour and I didn't know how to handle the fear that I felt for my little baby.
Later they told us that Carley had quit breathing and kept forgetting to breathe every few minutes. They took her to the NICU where they hooked her up to multiple IVs and monitored her breathing very closely. It was also discovered that she couldn't stay warm. To this day, my Carley loves her blankets and sweatshirts... she started that from day one, I believe.
A few days later we all went home together. I began the long, and sometimes difficult, process of learning how to care for two little people. Carley was a snuggle bug who insisted on being held constantly or she would cry. Madie was quiet and liked to check people out. I always felt that she was studying the world - as if she had to learn as much as she could, as quickly as possible.
My girls, my heart.
The years brought so many challenges and even greater happiness. I watched Carley's budding art interest (walls, doors, furniture, any surface would do!), and I watched Madie continue to study the world around her. Madie loved working on the computer with her dad, and her favorite word was, "why?"
My first two daughters taught me about mothering. In an instant they transformed me and it was no longer about me. I would do anything for them and over the years I made what sacrifices I could to ensure their happiness. They have not disappointed me!
Carley, you are a quiet soul who thinks of the world in artistic ways. You find beauty in color, light, and texture... all of the things that the great artists discovered and explored before you. I love how you are a Mama Bear in training. I see you figuring out how to negotiate peace and how to care for those around you and it makes me so proud. You are determined,courageous and kind. Those qualities will take you far in this world. Never lose your compassion and keep exploring!
Madie, ever the scientist... I know you love it when you get to teach me something new - but you know what? You have been teaching me about many things for the past 17 years! You have taught me about life! Knowledge is your strength and your passion. Use it to continue to do great things. I am so proud of all of your accomplishments and for the way you seek out new challenges. Don't ever let setbacks keep you from exploring. Learn and grow from all things around you and you will always be successful.
My girls, you are the very foundation of my soul. I can't remember what I ever did without you in my life! Thank you for making me a mother 17 years ago... and every day since then! Through you I have experienced the joys of childhood and I have looked at everything through new eyes. You have been my redemption and I am so lucky to be your mom! I love you both so much!
HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY, SWEET GIRLS!!!
The afternoon they were born was cold and snowy. We had so much snow that winter that we literally had to walk through a snow cave to get out of our apartment and to the car. We were at the hospital around 3pm and had to wait around until 5:50 but then it all happened quickly. Doctors, nurses and parents all getting ready for an early Christmas gift!
At 5lbs 11oz, Madison was born first and she didn't cry much. I heard a little bit of crying but mostly squeeking. At 5lbs 4oz Carley was born only a minute later and she was so quiet. She looked around the room and then rubbed a tiny fist over her eyes and went back to sleep. Already, little boo was bored and figured she'd sleep until things got more exciting.
I remember that Madison looked at me through eyes that seemed old and wise. And I wished she could tell me what she was thinking. I had the feeling that if I could communicate with her, she would have wonders and secrets to share with me. She had this adorable little smirk that let everyone know she knew things that we didn't... She still does that to this day!
Next they bundled Carley up and handed her to me in bed. She had the biggest blue eyes! I held her closely as they wheeled me to the recovery room where EVERYONE was waiting! Grandparents, Aunts, cousins, NINE people waited to meet the babies! In this age of Swine Flu and RSV, that would never in a million years happen now!
It was chaotic in that room and I was shaking from morphine. But the whole world stopped when my mom told me that Carley was blue! Panic struck me harder than I had ever felt it before. I remember pushing the nurse call button over and over but it had not been hooked up. I heard someone yell for the nurse who came running and took Carley away.
In a room full of people, I cried out of fear and a feeling of helplessness. I had been a mom less than an hour and I didn't know how to handle the fear that I felt for my little baby.
Later they told us that Carley had quit breathing and kept forgetting to breathe every few minutes. They took her to the NICU where they hooked her up to multiple IVs and monitored her breathing very closely. It was also discovered that she couldn't stay warm. To this day, my Carley loves her blankets and sweatshirts... she started that from day one, I believe.
A few days later we all went home together. I began the long, and sometimes difficult, process of learning how to care for two little people. Carley was a snuggle bug who insisted on being held constantly or she would cry. Madie was quiet and liked to check people out. I always felt that she was studying the world - as if she had to learn as much as she could, as quickly as possible.
My girls, my heart.
The years brought so many challenges and even greater happiness. I watched Carley's budding art interest (walls, doors, furniture, any surface would do!), and I watched Madie continue to study the world around her. Madie loved working on the computer with her dad, and her favorite word was, "why?"
My first two daughters taught me about mothering. In an instant they transformed me and it was no longer about me. I would do anything for them and over the years I made what sacrifices I could to ensure their happiness. They have not disappointed me!
Carley, you are a quiet soul who thinks of the world in artistic ways. You find beauty in color, light, and texture... all of the things that the great artists discovered and explored before you. I love how you are a Mama Bear in training. I see you figuring out how to negotiate peace and how to care for those around you and it makes me so proud. You are determined,courageous and kind. Those qualities will take you far in this world. Never lose your compassion and keep exploring!
Madie, ever the scientist... I know you love it when you get to teach me something new - but you know what? You have been teaching me about many things for the past 17 years! You have taught me about life! Knowledge is your strength and your passion. Use it to continue to do great things. I am so proud of all of your accomplishments and for the way you seek out new challenges. Don't ever let setbacks keep you from exploring. Learn and grow from all things around you and you will always be successful.
My girls, you are the very foundation of my soul. I can't remember what I ever did without you in my life! Thank you for making me a mother 17 years ago... and every day since then! Through you I have experienced the joys of childhood and I have looked at everything through new eyes. You have been my redemption and I am so lucky to be your mom! I love you both so much!
HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY, SWEET GIRLS!!!
Happy Birthday!
Today is a very special day for me. Seventeen years ago today, I became a mother for the first time... and the second time.
Those little creatures changed my life for the better, forever. They gave me direction and purpose and more love than I ever imagined or thought I deserved.
Their birthday blog is coming soon. I need a little time to make it fitting for such special kids. For now, I want to tell them thank you.
My sweet girls, thank you for all of the joy you have brought me. Thank you for teaching me new things every day and for opening my eyes to the wonders of the world. My life would be so empty without you.
I love you Carley and Madison! May your birthday, and every other day of the year be filled with happiness and love!
Those little creatures changed my life for the better, forever. They gave me direction and purpose and more love than I ever imagined or thought I deserved.
Their birthday blog is coming soon. I need a little time to make it fitting for such special kids. For now, I want to tell them thank you.
My sweet girls, thank you for all of the joy you have brought me. Thank you for teaching me new things every day and for opening my eyes to the wonders of the world. My life would be so empty without you.
I love you Carley and Madison! May your birthday, and every other day of the year be filled with happiness and love!
Thursday, November 26, 2009
My Heart Overflows
Yesterday was our annual day to head up to the mountain to cut Christmas trees at the tree farm. This tradition of ours has been going on longer than I can remember and it is something that we all look forward to every year. In fact, we bought the perfect artificial tree last year- it's colorful, whimsical and even Seussical - and yet we still had to make our pilgrimage to the mountain.. not to get a tree, but to get our yearly dose of wandering among the thistles and burrs, hearing the far off laughter of loved ones echo faintly in the distance, watching my girls transform into their younger selves as they run and play and hide among the towering pines... and to capture it all in pictures.
You can take away the Turkey feasts, the frenzied Christmas shopping and all of the extras we enjoy, but I will never give up time with my family. And time spent on that mountain is magical. No gift could ever put smiles on my children's faces like a few hours in the crisp air, surrounded by Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, and Grandparents.
When I stepped out of the car and walked toward the old camper where Roy always waits patiently for our family to find The Perfect Tree, I was stunned to see my frail little Grandpa sitting there. Since Grandma's passing, Grandpa has continued to become more fragile and we are achingly aware that our remaining time with him is very short. I didn't expect to see him yesterday at the mountain, I was prepared for the hollow event it would be without the family patriarch teasing Dorothy about how long it takes her to select The Perfect Tree, and yet there he was. I felt my eyes stinging with sudden tears. We had been given a gift. At least one more tradition with Grandpa by our side.
Grandpa can't see very well anymore, but that doesn't stop him from smiling big whenever someone comes near to greet him with hugs and kisses. He is so kind and so gentle.. just being near him yesterday filled my heart with gratitude. He made a point to tell me that he felt Grandma near and I know he was right. I felt her too and I gave silent thanks for the posterity that they created. There is no gift greater than family and my grandparents did a fine job at that.
Even though we knew we weren't there to get a tree, we happily wandered around and helped other family members select and cut trees of their own. The kids were playing and posing for pictures, the dogs were enjoying the time in new territory and I made sure to document as much as I could so that we will always remember.
Today we will spend the day as a family, cooking and preparing for guests to join us for dinner. Some of the girls are already awake and I know the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade will be another fun tradition that we won't miss as we busy ourselves in the kitchen. Today will be fun, but nothing can compare to our day on the mountain yesterday. My heart was so full that I cried all the way home. I am so thankful for my family and for one more day with Grandpa.
I am so thankful for all of the wonderful people in my life. There is nothing that I am lacking when I am surrounded by family. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
You can take away the Turkey feasts, the frenzied Christmas shopping and all of the extras we enjoy, but I will never give up time with my family. And time spent on that mountain is magical. No gift could ever put smiles on my children's faces like a few hours in the crisp air, surrounded by Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, and Grandparents.
When I stepped out of the car and walked toward the old camper where Roy always waits patiently for our family to find The Perfect Tree, I was stunned to see my frail little Grandpa sitting there. Since Grandma's passing, Grandpa has continued to become more fragile and we are achingly aware that our remaining time with him is very short. I didn't expect to see him yesterday at the mountain, I was prepared for the hollow event it would be without the family patriarch teasing Dorothy about how long it takes her to select The Perfect Tree, and yet there he was. I felt my eyes stinging with sudden tears. We had been given a gift. At least one more tradition with Grandpa by our side.
Grandpa can't see very well anymore, but that doesn't stop him from smiling big whenever someone comes near to greet him with hugs and kisses. He is so kind and so gentle.. just being near him yesterday filled my heart with gratitude. He made a point to tell me that he felt Grandma near and I know he was right. I felt her too and I gave silent thanks for the posterity that they created. There is no gift greater than family and my grandparents did a fine job at that.
Even though we knew we weren't there to get a tree, we happily wandered around and helped other family members select and cut trees of their own. The kids were playing and posing for pictures, the dogs were enjoying the time in new territory and I made sure to document as much as I could so that we will always remember.
Today we will spend the day as a family, cooking and preparing for guests to join us for dinner. Some of the girls are already awake and I know the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade will be another fun tradition that we won't miss as we busy ourselves in the kitchen. Today will be fun, but nothing can compare to our day on the mountain yesterday. My heart was so full that I cried all the way home. I am so thankful for my family and for one more day with Grandpa.
I am so thankful for all of the wonderful people in my life. There is nothing that I am lacking when I am surrounded by family. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Sunday, November 22, 2009
I am thankful for...
Thanksgiving is this week, and while I don't need a holiday to make me appreciate all of the blessings in my life, I am grateful that there is a holiday to celebrate all of the wonderful people in my life all at once. 
So here it goes.
I Am Thankful For:
My super cute husband who kisses me tenderly each morning before he goes to work. I'm usually still sleeping but he does it anyway and I love him for that!
Being a mom to 6 wonderful, smart, talented and kind girls.
Memories of my Grandma. I miss her so much.
Twilight movies that give my mom a reason to smile and something to look forward to.
Having an older brother who is mysterious and amazing. Definitely the smartest dude I've ever known!
Having a family that believes in loving nicknames. Chacho, Chacha, KarKar, Mac, Binza, JJ, Shla, Emmers, M-bear, among others.
My children's smiles and laughter. Laughter lit up the house last night and I went to bed with a warm and happy heart.
The fact that there are no "steps" in our house. We may be a blended family, but he is their dad and she is my girl. We are not a "step family" We. Are. Family!
My little brother and how hard he has worked to be where he is at today. I am so proud of him for working through his obstacles. He is such a cute dad and my girls' favorite uncle.
Little hands that find their way into mine when we are watching movies. They're never too old to hold their mom's hand.
Hugs and kisses goodnight, and loving goodbyes in the morning as my girls head off to school.
Fantastic friends that keep in touch even after I change jobs.
New job opportunities that teach me that not all bosses are jerks.
A thoughtful husband that sweeps and mops on his day off so that I freak out a little less over the dogs in the house.
The holidays that make my children's eyes glow with excitement.. not because of gifts, but because they love sharing surprises and spending time together.
Singing Christmas songs with my girls, in the car, as the snow falls.
Seeing my husband's huge smile as he escorts his little girl to our waiting vehicle at the airport. We are so happy that she is back with us for the holiday!
Plans to decorate the "whimsical" tree before Thanksgiving so that the whole family can participate.
Finding out that there will be at least one more trip to the mountains to cut Christmas trees at the Robinson tree farm. We don't need a tree, but we need that time to create life-long memories of family and togetherness. It hurts my heart to think about how different it will be this year.. I know what we will all be thinking, but I also know that if she is able, Grandma will look down on us and smile.
"See ya, Babe." "Bye Punkin, I love you. " "I love you too."
Yuffas and all that they imply.
Blogs that give us an outlet to share our thoughts, dreams and moments. An electronic snapshot of our lives.
To my family: Thank you for giving me purpose and direction. Everything I do is for you and because of you. You are my heart and my soul.. I can only hope that I am able to give you a fraction of the love, strength and happiness that you have given me.
So here it goes.
I Am Thankful For:
My super cute husband who kisses me tenderly each morning before he goes to work. I'm usually still sleeping but he does it anyway and I love him for that!
Being a mom to 6 wonderful, smart, talented and kind girls.
Memories of my Grandma. I miss her so much.
Twilight movies that give my mom a reason to smile and something to look forward to.
Having an older brother who is mysterious and amazing. Definitely the smartest dude I've ever known!
Having a family that believes in loving nicknames. Chacho, Chacha, KarKar, Mac, Binza, JJ, Shla, Emmers, M-bear, among others.
My children's smiles and laughter. Laughter lit up the house last night and I went to bed with a warm and happy heart.
The fact that there are no "steps" in our house. We may be a blended family, but he is their dad and she is my girl. We are not a "step family" We. Are. Family!
My little brother and how hard he has worked to be where he is at today. I am so proud of him for working through his obstacles. He is such a cute dad and my girls' favorite uncle.
Little hands that find their way into mine when we are watching movies. They're never too old to hold their mom's hand.
Hugs and kisses goodnight, and loving goodbyes in the morning as my girls head off to school.
Fantastic friends that keep in touch even after I change jobs.
New job opportunities that teach me that not all bosses are jerks.
A thoughtful husband that sweeps and mops on his day off so that I freak out a little less over the dogs in the house.
The holidays that make my children's eyes glow with excitement.. not because of gifts, but because they love sharing surprises and spending time together.
Singing Christmas songs with my girls, in the car, as the snow falls.
Seeing my husband's huge smile as he escorts his little girl to our waiting vehicle at the airport. We are so happy that she is back with us for the holiday!
Plans to decorate the "whimsical" tree before Thanksgiving so that the whole family can participate.
Finding out that there will be at least one more trip to the mountains to cut Christmas trees at the Robinson tree farm. We don't need a tree, but we need that time to create life-long memories of family and togetherness. It hurts my heart to think about how different it will be this year.. I know what we will all be thinking, but I also know that if she is able, Grandma will look down on us and smile.
"See ya, Babe." "Bye Punkin, I love you. " "I love you too."
Yuffas and all that they imply.
Blogs that give us an outlet to share our thoughts, dreams and moments. An electronic snapshot of our lives.
To my family: Thank you for giving me purpose and direction. Everything I do is for you and because of you. You are my heart and my soul.. I can only hope that I am able to give you a fraction of the love, strength and happiness that you have given me.
Friday, November 6, 2009
When Everything Is Perfect
As I was getting ready for work this morning, I heard the most wonderful sound in the whole world and it filled my heart with something that felt a lot like sparklers.
I heard my husband and two of my little girls gut laughing from the room below - the room with the ginormous television, and computers, and Yuffas perched on the couch.
They were watching America's Funniest Home Videos and they later informed me that they had just seen Santa fall head first, down the stairs, bouncing along on his back the entire way.
And so they laughed. :)
Dear Universe,
Thank you ever so much for my beautiful, wonderful family! They are the breath in my soul and the reason I am here. I promise to take the very best care of them and lock each and every one of them in my heart where I will love them forever.
Sincerely,
Me
I heard my husband and two of my little girls gut laughing from the room below - the room with the ginormous television, and computers, and Yuffas perched on the couch.
They were watching America's Funniest Home Videos and they later informed me that they had just seen Santa fall head first, down the stairs, bouncing along on his back the entire way.
And so they laughed. :)
Dear Universe,
Thank you ever so much for my beautiful, wonderful family! They are the breath in my soul and the reason I am here. I promise to take the very best care of them and lock each and every one of them in my heart where I will love them forever.
Sincerely,
Me
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
My Little Punkins
Fall… sweet, blissful, beautiful fall! Sometimes I think that one of the reasons I love fall so much is because you never know what weather you are going to wake up to. Other times, I can’t help but relate to the colorful leaves that seem to scream, “HEY! I’M OVER HERE! OPEN YOUR EYES AND APPRECIATE ME BEFORE I’M GONE!” Yesterday as I drove home in the 35+ mph winds, I was positively giddy over the fact that it was literally raining leaves on my Durango and I smiled as I watched a group of young children squeal with delight as they chased an eddy of leaves through the parking lot while I held up the traffic behind me so they could delight in their fall escapade safely.
*Sigh* Can it GET any better?
Last Friday we excitedly piled into the Durango to head to our favorite local farm for… PUMPKINS! As I watched my teenage girls frolic amongst the brightly colored gourds of happiness, I felt a wrenching pain in my heart. I was instantly transported through each one of the many years of pumpkin celebrations with my little girls and I wondered where the time has gone… I have pictures of my babies holding tiny pumpkins, but because they were tiny themselves, those little pumpkins looked huge! I have pictures of Emily perched happily on top of a pumpkin that had been hollowed out – too bad I couldn’t get a picture of that toddler butt from the INSIDE of the pumpkin… I bet that would have been hilarious! I can hear their sweet giggles as they grossed themselves out with the guts of the pumpkins, see them cringing as they dared each other to put pumpkin slices in their mouths, and I can see them proudly beaming over their freshly hacked creations. Oh girls, thank you… THANK YOU for the memories! I am such a lucky mother to have wonderful girls with whom I can share this great adventure we call life.
So there we were, last Friday evening, at the farm.. The sun was lower in the gloriously blue sky, the weather was perfect and my girls were having a ball! The girls would laugh and squeal over each new and even more perfect pumpkin than the last which they had just put into the little red Radio Flyer wagon.. so I simply could not refuse when they wanted “just one more.” I stood back and snapped picture after picture of the smiles, the laughter and the silliness that ensued and I could have been there all night. I was that happy! Bill joined us about 40 minutes after we had arrived at the farm… and we had already loaded our prized selections into the Durango.. So naturally we had to go back! We wanted our favorite guy to take part in the pumpkin happiness too.. And another 30 minutes and 17 pumpkins later, we headed home – reassuring each other that YES, WE ARE CRAZY!
Right about now you’re probably thinking to yourself, “Geez Nicole! 17 pumpkins… REALLY?”
Yes. Really. And let me tell you why…
When my girls were little and would have bad dreams, they would come into my room at night, tears streaked on their little cheeks, and they would crawl into bed with me. We’d sleep snuggled up for the remainder of the night. I remember a few years ago when I realized that they no longer do that.. I felt like I had been smacked in the face and I thought, “Hey wait a minute! When exactly was the last nightmare incident that had one of my Snuggle Bugs end up in my bed?” And as long as I am asking ridiculous, rhetorical questions, WHY didn’t someone tell me it would be the last time so I could fully appreciate it, and get the full benefit of The Very Last Nightmare Snuggle?
The very same scenario played out for the neighborhood summer nemesis, The Ice Cream Man. When they were little, my girls would take off at an Olympic sprint whenever they heard that creepy tinny music from blocks away. I could hear their little feet thundering through the house as they came at me all breathless and tense and asked me hopefully, “CANWEHAVEMONEYFORICECREAMPRETTYPLEASEHUH?” Take a breath girls! Here’s your quarters now go get sticky! One summer I actually gave them each their own roll of quarters and told them to use it wisely.. make it last.. I actually thought I was teaching them something cool about being responsible. Too bad Abby had already learned how to be generous because she went out and gave all of her quarters away to friends. LOL It is nice that you shared, Abby… but please don’t do that with your future paychecks! Now when the Ice Cream Man circles our neighborhood like a hungry vulture, the girls don’t even blink an eye as the music filters through the house like some horror scene about to play out.. And once again, I ask myself what I would have done.. what I would have thought… if someone had told me, “Hey Nicole, see those adorable little girls out there with ice cream running down their faces? Well, this is the very last time they are going to want to chase the ice cream truck. How do you feel about that?” The truth is that I probably would have cried because I do that a lot as I watch my babies turn into blossoming adults.
So that is why we bought 17 pumpkins! Because next year, or the year after that, or the year after that.. when I wake up one day and realize that we no longer rush off to the pumpkin patch with our grins and cameras ready, I want to be able to say, “Yeah, I remember that and it was OH. SO. COOL!”
By the way - Today is my Sweet Grandma Robinson's birthday. Grandma, I still miss you every day.. still fight the tears that are my constant since you've been gone.. and I will always...ALWAYS love you. Happy Birthday, Beautiful Lady!
*Sigh* Can it GET any better?
Last Friday we excitedly piled into the Durango to head to our favorite local farm for… PUMPKINS! As I watched my teenage girls frolic amongst the brightly colored gourds of happiness, I felt a wrenching pain in my heart. I was instantly transported through each one of the many years of pumpkin celebrations with my little girls and I wondered where the time has gone… I have pictures of my babies holding tiny pumpkins, but because they were tiny themselves, those little pumpkins looked huge! I have pictures of Emily perched happily on top of a pumpkin that had been hollowed out – too bad I couldn’t get a picture of that toddler butt from the INSIDE of the pumpkin… I bet that would have been hilarious! I can hear their sweet giggles as they grossed themselves out with the guts of the pumpkins, see them cringing as they dared each other to put pumpkin slices in their mouths, and I can see them proudly beaming over their freshly hacked creations. Oh girls, thank you… THANK YOU for the memories! I am such a lucky mother to have wonderful girls with whom I can share this great adventure we call life.
So there we were, last Friday evening, at the farm.. The sun was lower in the gloriously blue sky, the weather was perfect and my girls were having a ball! The girls would laugh and squeal over each new and even more perfect pumpkin than the last which they had just put into the little red Radio Flyer wagon.. so I simply could not refuse when they wanted “just one more.” I stood back and snapped picture after picture of the smiles, the laughter and the silliness that ensued and I could have been there all night. I was that happy! Bill joined us about 40 minutes after we had arrived at the farm… and we had already loaded our prized selections into the Durango.. So naturally we had to go back! We wanted our favorite guy to take part in the pumpkin happiness too.. And another 30 minutes and 17 pumpkins later, we headed home – reassuring each other that YES, WE ARE CRAZY!
Right about now you’re probably thinking to yourself, “Geez Nicole! 17 pumpkins… REALLY?”
Yes. Really. And let me tell you why…
When my girls were little and would have bad dreams, they would come into my room at night, tears streaked on their little cheeks, and they would crawl into bed with me. We’d sleep snuggled up for the remainder of the night. I remember a few years ago when I realized that they no longer do that.. I felt like I had been smacked in the face and I thought, “Hey wait a minute! When exactly was the last nightmare incident that had one of my Snuggle Bugs end up in my bed?” And as long as I am asking ridiculous, rhetorical questions, WHY didn’t someone tell me it would be the last time so I could fully appreciate it, and get the full benefit of The Very Last Nightmare Snuggle?
The very same scenario played out for the neighborhood summer nemesis, The Ice Cream Man. When they were little, my girls would take off at an Olympic sprint whenever they heard that creepy tinny music from blocks away. I could hear their little feet thundering through the house as they came at me all breathless and tense and asked me hopefully, “CANWEHAVEMONEYFORICECREAMPRETTYPLEASEHUH?” Take a breath girls! Here’s your quarters now go get sticky! One summer I actually gave them each their own roll of quarters and told them to use it wisely.. make it last.. I actually thought I was teaching them something cool about being responsible. Too bad Abby had already learned how to be generous because she went out and gave all of her quarters away to friends. LOL It is nice that you shared, Abby… but please don’t do that with your future paychecks! Now when the Ice Cream Man circles our neighborhood like a hungry vulture, the girls don’t even blink an eye as the music filters through the house like some horror scene about to play out.. And once again, I ask myself what I would have done.. what I would have thought… if someone had told me, “Hey Nicole, see those adorable little girls out there with ice cream running down their faces? Well, this is the very last time they are going to want to chase the ice cream truck. How do you feel about that?” The truth is that I probably would have cried because I do that a lot as I watch my babies turn into blossoming adults.
So that is why we bought 17 pumpkins! Because next year, or the year after that, or the year after that.. when I wake up one day and realize that we no longer rush off to the pumpkin patch with our grins and cameras ready, I want to be able to say, “Yeah, I remember that and it was OH. SO. COOL!”
By the way - Today is my Sweet Grandma Robinson's birthday. Grandma, I still miss you every day.. still fight the tears that are my constant since you've been gone.. and I will always...ALWAYS love you. Happy Birthday, Beautiful Lady!
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"My daughters are so many things- Tiny discoverers of butterfly wings, huggers of teddies, sweet sleepyheads, little ones to dream for in bright years ahead... All Special people who right from the start had a place in our family and of course in my heart. And just when I think that I've learned all the things that my dear daughters are and the joy each one brings, a hug or a grin comes with such sweet surprise that love finds me smiling with tears in my eyes!"