We Love More, Hope More, And Pray More...

I'm incredibly weepy lately. Work stress, lack of sleep, hormones out of whack.. whatevs. It doesn't take much to make me cry. So after days and days of living on the edge, this morning at work I got a series of text messages from my Carley that got me all sniffily at work, and for the rest of the day I found myself pondering the relationship between parent and child, which lead to a series of other events that kept me teary eyed pretty much all day.

I felt really bad that I missed her first text of the day. I was busy booking flights for Delta passengers! 

Carley is my sweet, stubborn, fiercely brave girl that can completely undo me with a smile.. or a quivering lip. She's very much like me in that she will let you know how she's feeling, even if she can't tell you exactly why she's feeling that way at the moment. I adore the fact that although she's nearly 20 years old, she's still not too old to snuggle with her mama.

Earlier this morning I had a conversation with my fav sister, Missy about a blog that we have been reading recently. The blog documents one family's incredibly short, incredibly painful, and shattering experience with childhood cancer. You can find that blog here: Rockstar Ronan. Between work calls today, I repeatedly found myself drawn to Ronan's blog. It wasn't long before my chest burned with heartache and I felt the tears swelling past the rims of my eyes. Bad idea to read that raw stuff at work. But I was captivated. Absolutely spellbound. I wanted to know more about Ronan's mom and how she handled this exquisitely private pain of losing her youngest child to cancer. I sent Missy a text about the blog... she told me she had made the mistake of reading it while working also. I'm telling you, once you start down that path, it's difficult to stop.

I told Missy through our texting how I hate cancer and how grateful I am for Lillie's super strong personality that helped her fight through Leukemia when she was such a tiny little girlie. I don't know why our family was spared the ultimate loss that so many of my friends have not been so lucky to escape. I can't believe that there is a God that spares some children while fracturing other families beyond repair. No mother deserves that kind of pain.

After sharing some comforting text messages with Missy, in which we both openly and lovingly admired each other, I kept wondering what it is that defines a good mother. Those thoughts are still winding around my mind this evening...

The common theme between the text messages Carley sent me, Missy's little girl battling cancer, and Ronan's mom caring for her precious boy as he fought bravely, is that we teach, coach and then show our children that we will always be right by their side as they face the challenges in their lives. Whether it's me teaching my girls that kindness matters and that no one ever regretted working hard to achieve their goals, or Missy successfully juggling home-work-family and her precious baby fighting cancer, or Ronan's mom who loved enough for a lifetime in four short years and then tenderly bathed her lifeless little boy one last time before he was taken away, kissing his eyes, his lips and cheeks over and over... whispering in his ear how loved he is and bravely sharing his story years later. Even after all of that, being a mom is still so much more. We love more, pray more, and hope more than these precious kids will ever understand... at least until they become parents themselves.

In the end, we all want our children to grow up to be happy, successful adults. I'm grateful for parents like Ronan's mom who may not get to see their own child(ren) grow up, but through their courage, wisdom and love, end up reaching thousands, if not millions of children all over the world. We love our children with every part of our souls... we are moms and that's a pretty cool club to belong to.


Side Note:

Taylor Swift also read the blog written by Ronan's mom and she was so moved by this family that she wrote a song for Ronan. The words of the song were taken directly from the blog and because of that, Taylor listed Ronan's mom as co-writer of the song. All proceeds from the sale of "Ronan" go directly to the Stand Up To Cancer foundation. Pretty darn cool! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go purchase my own copy.